Tuesday, March 10, 2009

i lived

here today always is again
i say knowing death is somewhere

and cap another little while
the magic wonder that makes me
write even on meaningless days

who or what am i reaching for

my unstopping scribblehand
my plain mind stretching
like reality in dreams

like i could really fall
from a screaming rollercoaster and live


reno grannies

in stale living rooms
reno grannies (fresh
ly-permed hair spritzed stiff)
lay green stacks on soil
ed coffee tables and are handed
baggies of powder

i have felt second and third 
winds but god
the thousands of winds
reno's gamble grannies
must learn to stand in!

thank (greedy) god
they have the heavy slot seats
to anchor them

otherwise i do
not think they would stand
a chance



reno neva

one a.
m. is a time
to have a dr
ug in you

re
no nevada is a sect
ion of filth
y universe wit
h high grannies wit
h car
tons of light on
e hundreds on
the empty slot sea
t next t
o them

reno neva
da crawls with sped
up zombies who
se e
yes unblinking
are here to win 
it big

fat lo
ners lo
o
king for a
good time blo
wing bucks eve
r
step of the way

god this casino
kills round the clock
or rat
her kills the clock itself

no on
e is her
e to see me
see what speed
has un
done in the faces
of the grave
yard shift once
lovely waitresses
or whatever 
their bosses call them

i can bare
ly take the sun
ken mouths
of the casino life
rs
who
se clean cow
boy shirts for sure
reek of sixty plus
odd years of smoke
d cheap cigs

what if
i think bet
ween sips of whisky 
one could see all
the teeth of these
rottin
g gamblers in a pile?

no
tic
ing the loo
king for.
for what re
no nevadans?

when a buxom doll
ed up woman
passes so 
man 
y eyes foll
ow her move

what
transformations the hotel
mirrors must have witnessed

the young womens' feet
hide in uggs
and black spikes

what else can
one do i think bet
ween sips of pep
si max and crown
but write these folk
s down? 
fuck i
already burned the hun
dred dad gave me

dad paid
for this one
forty five crown

acro
ss the casino
i see the speedfreak LCDs
programmed to drive
granny addicts and co
ughing old cowboys
batty with greed

really i am
no bet
ter than them;
we bot
h voluntarily
high and poorer here

five one filipino
women with brushed black
smoke-in
fused hair patrol
glossy lanes
flanked by the tack
i
est of car
pet boundaried
in gold plastic

be
hold the king
dom of god
awful decisions
its twin
kling with
empty comped cock
tail glasses this
nausea
tingly rich racket
could not give
the slimme
st fuck if they nev
er laid a sleepless eye
on again

what wit
h the millions on
like a run
nin bathtub

there the patron's fin
al breath collides
with the plastic show
er 
curtain.



Monday, March 9, 2009

love is famous

love is famous
an actress so agoni
zingly gorgeous
and good that
she act
ually becomes the char
acter

sun
g songs for her
echo gorge
ously and so
me would say too
sweetly across all hum
an universes

trees in an orchard seen from a flying car

we won't outgrow doing stuff like this
and when we're gone we'll play ghost-cards
leaving earth
to our babies
and laughing so hard it annoys other ghosts
ghosts also die usually
as their babies grow older and die
and their babies live and die also
and on like that 
until we, still we, are pieces of emptiness
the great emptiness built of us
and the great silence there will ring
also with our laughter
though our laughter will have changed
as our babies' generations tick off
like trees in an orchard seen from a flying car
and after we cease to be even emptiness
we will still pull slot-machine arms together
somehow i know
though few other organisms may possibly
some sad and eternally beautiful how, i know

possibly beautiful void

it makes some kind of peace
when light and dark 
ignore each other

but it is
(good luck to you)
an unbalanced 
(possibly beautiful) void

awaiting great days

how eternal
ly lovely 
does how feel when 
it is undefined? how
fun is knowing
versus not?

how holy is fun?
define fun.
fun is un
predictable

what we make days
is what they are
we young old and all betwixt can
not rely on our cherished
tidal-type greatdays to wash
in (walls of joy!) from
nowhere. we all
must learn to summon
somehow them ourselves

to clear the cluttered streets
for their crash-grand arrival!

for strangers

cursed clouds i
marvel between you
where the blue is one californian blue
and no shift in its shade

the spread of dandelion antennae
their burst from a green little fist
is clearblue like
any moment born bloodless

people i feel like
times we could meet
we don't. some essential part of
us collides and dissolves
halfway between us
that little reaction times x
is our impenetrable
somehow pretty clouds

with wings or honesty
we might strangers fly like
clear through the titan horseheads
and cotton castles
soaring somehow connected
through opaque and transparent
as much as we'd wish to

seeds both crushed and floating

untitled

concealed just under my shirt 
are bursts of malicious metal curls
blooming jagged from my scapulas
like tangles of bent-open fishhooks 

nonbelievers, ask
ones who've hugged me too closely

an angel explodes

crystal crumbs still sparkling
hiss by the thousands
raining around you there
in the nightwet street

the burst's pressure
and tentacular starlight arms
punch a violent pop between your ears
and you cannot squint out
the lime-rimmed lemon light stains
staggered and trailing there
in dark space before you

if we can make if light

places to put your eyes
uncountable like directions
you can move 
if you can make if light
between you

if gets hella heavy
does she not

songs thrown up
like sticky webs
make one wanna make

click play 
the sweet songs blared across the coop
empty-eyed hens
pumping out endlessly eggs

we love,
hate and are them